Random musings from the last week.
31st August
There’s a lot going on here at the moment, my youngest had a tonsillectomy yesterday (all went well), my eldest is heading back to school in a few days, I have some work to finish, my partner is away for work and there’s week or so of recovery time ahead for my youngest. But as they say, the more you do, the more you do.
The busy period arrived at a good point because last week I found myself feeling glum. I would say it was justified sadness but it became all consuming due to the underlying burnout that’s still bubbling away in the background. After writing a post about the stress I experienced a few months ago I quickly realised that burnout is still very much in full swing and I need to tread carefully. This is a result of years of stuff stacking up combined with being the kind of person who just gets on with it all (which to be clear, is not a flex in any way at all).
I’ve said this many times since my birthday but it’s time to work harder at moving myself up from the bottom of the pile. For me that means working more, protecting my time and embracing my own hobbies. I thrive when I’m working and exercising so the plan is to lock in more nursery days and build some solid structure around my weeks. I do so much with my children and ultimately everything I’m doing will benefit them. So I’m letting go of any guilt there.
I’ve also fallen back into overthinking everything I write and the content I’m sharing online. Every now and then I think I’ve smashed down that barrier but then boom, it shoots right back up again. It’s frustrating and really not like me. I’m not going to let it stop me though, especially as we’re heading into September. So here I am, typing everything out to hold myself accountable.
1st September
Earlier this evening I decided it’s time to put a stop to this feeling and work on a mindset shift. As I said before, the sadness was justified but just under a week of feeling like that is enough for me. I have a full September ahead with lots of things I want to do, book and progress with. So, I don’t plan on bringing this negative energy with me. I feel like a totally different person when I’m in this kind of mood and I’m not down for it.
Bigger issues aside, I used the time I had today to figure out what I need to do to get out of this funk (exercise, always) and how to optimise my working situation (I’ll be focusing on this more next week). I also spent some time getting steps in while it’s lovely and sunny.
So, just before typing this I picked out several days of the week which will be my work days. If I then choose to do any additional work in the evening that’s a bonus and not a self set expectation. I’ll be making a decision about the current work I plan to focus on next week when everyone is back at school. On top of that, I’ve been actively getting out for evening walks solo or with a friend, getting back on my skateboard or swimming. These activities make a nice pocket of time for me on the evenings that I’m not doing the bedtime routine. This is all very new but much needed.
We’ve had a wonderful summer, most of it was spent at the beach, in the forest or exploring parks all around Cambridgeshire. This last week or so has mostly been spent closer to home, if not just stuck inside the house and it hasn’t done the children and I any good. We’re used to hitting 10k+ steps, the kids love to be out on their bikes most days and well, we just need to be outside. I look forward to the littlest one recovering fully so we can get back to what we do best.
2nd September
I might actually have some time to fully commit to this blog post while the little patient is asleep and the eldest is busy building with Lego. This is another one of those blog posts that’s mostly for me, a way to untangle my own thoughts. I do hope there’s some benefit to someone else who is reading along and also finding themselves making their way out of the fog.
One of the things I’ll be committing to this September is putting together a proper strategy for both of my blogs. Now that I’m getting back into the swing of writing and creating content for social media, I finally have the mental bandwidth to step back, give it all some real thought and make a plan. I’ve been quite upfront about wanting to do this for fun and as a way to get back into being creative but also and perhaps more importantly, because I need to start increasing my income.
I’m feeling optimistic about September.
Things that I’ll be focusing on over the coming weeks
- Exercise – I want to find a circuit/strength training class and go swimming more consistently alongside doing Reformer and walking.
- Decluttering the house – I’ve already made a start but there’s a lot to do because we simply have too much stuff.
- Sorting out the garden – It’s currently a mess and I really missed growing our own veggies over the last couple of years. My eldest is also a big fan of gardening, so I’ll rope him in to getting it sorted.
- Booking activities and lunches with friends/myself – This is self-explanatory, right?
- Focusing on work and finding that part of me again – Honestly, just the prospect of having dedicated time for this is making me very excited.
It’s now the 7th September and I can genuinely say I’m in a much better place than the other week. Taking some time to reflect on where I’m at and where I want to go has been worthwhile. I’ve also realised that me from January would be so proud of the progress that today me has made. It feels good to say the fog is continuing to clear and I’m feeling more and more like me every day.